These two couldn’t be any closer even if they tried. Nath and Mase are joined at the hip and when it’s the three of us present I’m only good for one thing, the boob.\ I knew that when Mason joined our family my love would deepen for Nathan. I couldn’t wait to see him be a Dad to our own blood and I had no doubt he would step into those shoes with ease. The love that oozes out of him for Mason is even bigger then I imagined. He’s proud, devoted and feels Mason’s emotions in a heavy way. Watching from a far I see a man who’s eyes fill with tears when his little boy is sensitive and unhappy. As a mama and wife this is everything and proud is an understatement.
The last couple of days have left Nath and I shaken as not only people but as parents. Yesterday as we walked through Queen Street, Auckland we looked up to see the hotel that the beautiful Grace Millane was last seen at. We have shared conversations about how this devastating storyline continues to pop into our minds. Nath saying that he can only imagine how those parents would be feeling and numb is the word he used. For me I'm feeling it from all directions as a parent, woman, sister, friend. There's so many sides I could talk about this from and my heart aches for Grace. It's clear that it's caused so much anger within people towards men’s violence and for us it has made us reflect on the little boy who fills our hearts to the brim. So let’s talk about love in different forms, from both sides.
Us as parents have a role to play in the lives of our children and who they grow up to be. Being there for your children and ensuring they know how loved they are is the best gift you can ever give them. As a mother of a little boy I want to nurture his sensitive side, let him know that we encourage him to share his emotions and that his feelings are heard and valued.\ I feel so much disgust and hate towards the 26 year old male who took the life of such a precious being but I also feel sadness for him too. How sad to think of the reason behind his motives and what went wrong along his journey for him to get to this point in life.
We don't choose how we enter this world, as a innocent baby who needs tender love and care we don't know whether we are going to be given it. None of us know the background to everyone's childhood or their individual journey but what I do know is how much this situation has affected me in regards to being a boy mama and raising my son.\ I hate the thought that men like this create a fear in women around the world. I hate that my beautiful little boy is growing up in a world where he will be viewed in this light, as a potential threat, someone who could harm another human, kill them even.\ I don't know this 26 year olds story but if he was my son I don't know if I could even put into words how I would feel. Mortified, disgusted, embarrassed but absolutely heart broken all the same I think.
So this is where the purpose behind this post started, my husband Nathan is an incredible man, role model and father. I'm proud of him for growing into even more of a vulnerable, down to earth, sensitive male and dropping the embarrassment that men hold around these attributes. Together Nathan and I will raise our boy and any future boys we may have to hold these attributes themselves. We will always have a listening ear, provide a house that promotes honesty, openness, warmth and respect, ensure our children know they are never alone and educate our children whether male or female about kindness, empathy and love.
Our hearts ache for Grace and her whanau and I actually don't know if I have the words to know what to say to any of them other then I'm so sorry.
\ I go to sleep tonight focussing on love. Taking from this heart wrenching story that love is essential from all sides.\ Say those three little words as much as you can. Tell your Mum, Dad, sister, brother, daughter, son, friend, Nana how you feel about them and appreciate every single second. If you hold a role as a Mother or Father then love every inch out of your children. Highlight the positives over the negatives, stop and listen, squeeze them tight, ask how their day was, model respect and empathy and show that you care. Our children are the future, let's raise them to be the role models we aspire them to be. Let's lift them up, foster and nurture. Everyone deserves to see their children grow up to be the best version of themselves.\ Let's do our part x