It’s here. The day our precious little boy entered the world a whole year ago and I’m feeling all kinds of emotions. It sounds crazy but I almost feel a sensation of numbness. It’s like I can’t quite believe it and still to this day I look at Mase, give myself a little pinch and say “You are mine baby boy and how lucky am I.”
When I feel so deeply about something let alone someone I struggle to piece words together. It all flashes within my mind and it seems to put me into some sort of shock. Today isn’t just about Mason turning an official ‘number’ instead its about celebrating how incredible life is. Reflecting on all the highs, challenges, lows, achievements and memories. Most importantly taking in the fact that on this day one whole year ago labour hit and by 7:15pm on the 28th January 2018 Mason Rawiri joined our world.
Nath and I decided to write individual letters to Mason for this milestone, along with make a video showcasing the year. In hope he will treasure these memories forever and know he will always be loved unconditionally.
It’s hard to know where to begin. Theres so much I wish to say to you.
Back in 2009 I was told that falling pregnant would not be easy for me. I knew I wanted to be a mum so this hurt to hear and created worry inside me until the day we found out you existed. May 28th 2017 is when we found out we were going to be welcoming a little baby into our family. It was pretty surreal but the morning sickness kicked in and then that took the situation to a whole new level. Yes baby boy you made mama very sick, 10 times over two days I vomited and then it just continued to get worse. All I knew was that every vomit, each horrid indigestion feeling and the overall illness I felt was bringing me one step closer to having you in my arms.
I spent so many hours wondering what you would look like. Holding my tummy, rubbing it to make you move and talking to you often. I felt such a connection to you when you were in there and I was focussed on us working together in harmony in order for you to arrive into this world safely.
It’s now the day. One year ago we met you for the first time and now here you are. A one year old with the biggest smile, beautiful blue eyes and the best personality. At 7:15pm on Sunday 28th January 2018 you got placed onto my chest after getting a little stuck on your way out. Dad and I were both crying. I was in shock and I still think back to that moment feeling every bit of what had just happened. It was the scariest yet most incredible day of my life and you have changed my life in all the right ways.
Mason this year of loving you has been filled with so many amazing memories. You are always achieving and accomplishing new things by the day. In those first weeks you weren’t shy at showing us how much you loved the boob. How you were keen to sleep anywhere and you loved to move your legs. Kicking mama on the inside to then kicking away on the outside.
Life is mind blowing when you think about how you grew inside me and each part of your gorgeous wee self was formed that way. The year has flown and it’s the hardest part for me. Watching you grow is a blessing but the rapid speed it goes at makes me sad. If only we could just pause time for a little.
We have watched as you have formed friendships, mastered rolling over, sitting, crawling and standing. You are now walking around furniture and climbing up stairs. Seeing the sense of achievement on your face brings me joy every day. One thing I love is how determined you are. You know what you want and you go for it. If you have to work for it you will and that makes me proud. You bring happiness to many and I have lost count of how many times I have been told how incredible your eyes are and how happy and smiley you always are. Mase, you steal peoples hearts and make them feel good and I hope that part of you continues to blossom as you grow.
Mase, this world is big. It’s full of opportunity and adventure. It’s also full of challenges and sadness. I know you have the power to impact the world in a positive way. To leave your mark, as they say – the world is your oyster (you are in a position to take the opportunities that life has to offer). I aspire you to always be you. Hold your values close to your heart and keep that determination running within you. Foster respect, show you care, be kind, provide listening ears when needed.
May you be empathetic to others, hold confidence within you and never loose your sensitive side.
Some days will be tough, others incredible and there will be days that you count as ‘the best day of your life’.
Embrace it all. Mistakes will be made, achievements will be celebrated and always know that we are here, believing in you and backing you all the way.
I promise to give you my best. To continuously work on growing myself as a person and your mama to be the best version of me. May there always be trust between us and within our family. May you always feel at home and that this is your safe place no matter what age you are.
Tears keep filling my eyes and have been doing so for quite a few weeks now. This is only the first of many celebrations and as much as it stings a little to watch you grow up so fast I’m excited for what the future holds.
Dream big sweet boy, here’s to more laughs, adventures, cuddles, kisses and endless amounts of love.
You have taught me the true meaning of unconditional love.
Love you forever.
Your Mama xx